This Can (Not) Be Your Fate
by Huehuecoyotl
Summary: What if you fail in life, what if due to your mistakes everybody dies, and what if someone decides to you give a second chance... a Retry.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

It had been a long for day for Misato.

First there was a blackout that affected the entire city of Tokyo-3 and even NERV. Something that shouldn't have even been possible, given the triple-redundant backup circuits that could not all fail at once. Which naturally suggested sabotage by a powerful third party... To make matters worse, an Angel then showed up on that very day and tried to make its way down to Terminal Dogma. Luckily, the staff and Commander Ikari were there to prepare the Evas for manual launch. The Angel's AT Field was surprisingly weak and hadn't even been able to resist a volley from a pallet gun. It was still too close for her taste.

 _'Too damn close. I wouldn't mind if the rest of those things would go down as easily as this one... but I'm not that stupid to think that would happen.'  
_  
Yet... worse than the Angel catching them with their pants down, worse than the attempted backstabbing by the US or the JDF or whoever else wished to have her boot up their ass, was the fact that she was trapped in an elevator with _that man_ , of all the people working at the facility.

She had been caught in a rather compromising position when she was found by Rits, Hyuga and Maya, none of whom were particularly interested in her (entirely true) explanation of having tried to get to the emergency hatch by way of _his_ shoulders as her stepping stone. Reckless, yes... but tell that to her bladder.

 _'Ugh, I need a beer... or twenty. Anything to make this day just a foggy memory.'_

All in all it had been a very tiring day made worse by paperwork she had to fill out chronicling the day's events (some of which she's planning on leave out)

"Finally, I'm finished! God writing reports is such a pain. I would rather deal with Asuka in her more bombastic moments than do this all day. Sub-commander Fuyutsuki has my deepest sympathies." She chuckled.

Now that all the dreaded paperwork was done she could finally head home. On her way home in her car (which was still mostly wrecked due to the 3rd Angel) she watched as the power returned to the city and the disposal crew tore away at the spider-like Angel's body.

Misato smiled. "That's seven down, eight to go."

After a long drive, Misato was at the door of her apartment and heard screaming coming from inside. At first she was worried that it might be trouble. After all, it was believed that someone caused the blackout and NERV was most likely the target; but as she listened more closely she realized it was her two wards yelling at each other. She smirked a bit and with that she went in knowing whatever they were arguing about was bound to be a headache.

When she came in, Misato found Shinji and Asuka in each other's faces. At first glance one may think they were just about to kiss given how close they were, if it weren't for the utter disdain on both their faces.

"You're a cheater! I can't believe that the Third would stoop to such lows, but I suppose it should be expected! After all: I am the superior fighter with years of training under my belt compared to your meager few—"

"I didn't cheat! I beat you fair and square and something tells me that your 'years of training' didn't cover video games given how well you played."

" **What**! What did you just say?!"

Misato, amused, didn't know whether to get a beer and watch the argument play out or break up the fight. In the end she decided on a compromise. She grabbed a beer from the fridge, took a swig, and said to the two, "Well, now it's a bit early for you to start arguing like an old married couple I had hoped it wouldn't happen this soon but better now than never."

She watched as their faces turned redder than a tomato and then both of them said,"We are not a couple—"

"Like I would ever lower myself to be with Baka Shinji! Kaji is the only man for—"

"Asuka, even if you were old enough for **him** , Kaji is not worth the trouble trust me on that." A vein then appeared on Misato's forehead that looked like it was about to burst.

"Yeah, said Shinji "I don't think Mister Kaji wants people thinking that he is interested in children."

"I am not a child! I'm grown. Look at me." Shinji started to look towards her body but then he put his head down in shame as other thoughts came to mind.. At the same time, Asuka glanced back to Shinji and realized he wasn't looking at her, which caused her to get annoyed. "You know what, I have had a long day I am going bed. Don't wake me."

Asuka then slammed the door to her room, **hard**. Shinji himself, feeling tired, decided it was time for him to retire to his room too. But before he could do so, he wanted to know one thing.

"Misato, do you need something to eat? I know it's late but I wanted to ask."

"No thanks, kiddo. I'm not very hungry tonight and I know you're tired. You can go to bed if you want."

"Thank you."

Shinji then went into his room and proceeded to close the door slowly so he wouldn't wake Asuka.

Misato also decided it was time for her to hit the sack, but in order to sleep she needed a little bit of help. So, she grabbed a case of beer and headed to her room.

"Ten should be enough for me to get a good night's rest," she said quietly to herself.

As Misato began to undress she heard her Nerv-issued cell phone ring. She immediately answered, thinking it must be another angel attack or something just as bad.

"Katsuragi here, what's the situation?"

"Heey there Misa, you answered! I was worrying that you had blacked... blacked out by now". The caller hiccupped.

"What the-? Misato yelled, disbelieving what she was hearing. Rits are…are you drunk?"

"Maa~ybe..." She slurred.

"Hey, quiet! I am trying to get some shut-eye here!" Asuka shouted.

"Sorry," Misato called as she headed out of her room and into the hallway so the kids could sleep.

On the phone was Ritsuko Akagi **,** Nerv's chief scientist and her best friend and from the sound of it, completely wasted. It was something she never saw her do before. (except once during college).

"Rits, what going on? Why are you loaded in the middle of the night, calling me? The line is reserved for emergencies only."

"...The em... emer... that one? Huh. I thought it was my normal one."

Misato sighed, wondering if she was this annoying when drunk.

"Ash to whyyy 'm callin', iz becaushe that now that youuuu an' Kaji hav gotten back t'gether I," HIC~! "wan' some relatshoo... _relationship_ avdice 'bout a man I am seeing... fucking... havvin' an 'ffair with... I dunno, depends on how ya look at it."

If it was possible for Misato's jaw to hit the floor it would have, ignoring the fact she thought that (sigh) Kaji and her were back together (which wasn't going to happen even if hell froze over) it was the idea that Ritsuko was seeing someone was unthinkable. She had to know more about this.

"Rits, what do you mean you're having an affair?! If the man you're seeing is married you should kick his ass to the curb— those types of relationships never end out well.

"He'z... he'z only technically married," she said bitterly. "His wife died years ago, but he won' move on from her n' I want him to move from her." Misato could tell over the phone that her friend was barely holding it together. "To be only with m-me, to... to only need me, but he's... so cold to me. He only thinks 'f **her**."

"...I don't want to f-feel 'lone anymore. 'Cause lately, I'm not happy anymore, not even when he makez luv t' me. Misa... will you help me?""

For Misato, this was a lot to take in. Most of the time, Ritsuko was calm and collected—To hear her be so open, so vulnerable was something very new to her indeed.

"...Sure Rits, I'll help you."

"R-really?"

"Yes, really. You're my friend, Rits—you do the same for me, and even if you didn't I'll still help you."

"Thanksh... c-can we talk more about this tomorrow? 'n person?"

"Sure. Where do you want to meet up?"

"How 'bout... that new café— th' one that opened up last week, an's like two blocks frum your apartment? 'bout... ten 'n the morning-ish?"

"Sounds like a plan, Rits."

"An' Misato... now that you and Kaji are an item again, I hope you two will have lovemaking on a schedule~, she slurred. "We don't want an incident with you two like—" *click*

Misato hung up her phone.

"I really hope that drunk Ritsuko is not going to become a thing now." Shaking her head, she quietly walked back into her apartment.

After undressing and getting into her bed, Misato stared up at the ceiling, wondering.

' _So Rits is asking_ _ **my**_ _help to save her relationship, she_ _ **must**_ _be around 0.5% if she asking me, the failure who couldn't save her own relationship.'_

Misato took another swig of beer. All of this was bringing up some old buried feelings about Ryoji Kaji, a man who both infuriated her and brought out the best in her, a man whom she broke things off with for reasons (to this day) she wasn't entirely sure of.

She started to wonder that maybe they could rekindle that old flame of theirs before shovingthat thought to the back of her mind.

 _'It's all ancient history now. It ought let it go.'_ Something she remembered telling Asuka before the 9th arrived.

Misato started to get drowsy, finding it hard to keep her eyes open. "The beer must finally be kicking in now," she said softly. As she started to fall asleep, Misato hoped that when the nightmares came (as they always do) they wouldn't be too bad this time.

As dawn broke, Misato finally woke from her slumber, then yawned. "Wow that was great. That had to be the best night I've got since…ever."

While getting dressed, she heard Asuka yell to her, "Hey Misato, me and the baka are heading to school pick us up by four, got it?" Then she slammed the door on her way out. Misato could tell that Asuka was still very unhappy about last night.

' _Sigh, I need to find someone her own age for her to obsess about. Maybe Shinji. Those two are pretty cute together especially when their faces turn bright red.'_ She grinned.

"Sorry about Asuka," Shinji said. "I'll see you later Misato."

Later, fully dressed, Misato looked to see what time it was as she had the feeling she's missing something. "Huh it's 9:00 but I can't help but feel like I'm forg….RITS!"

It had completely slipped her mind that she was supposed to meet with Ritsuko at the café to talk about her problems with some 'married' man she was seeing. Wasting no time, she grabbed her keys, locked the door, and headed out to her car. As she ran down the stairs, Misato still felt like she was missing something, but whatever what it was it couldn't be more important than this.

Back in the apartment, a very angry Pen-Pen tapped his foot, looking at two empty bowls of water and food. (The latter he wasn't really mad about if it was going to come from Misato.)

After 40 minutes or so, she finally arrived. Misato would have been here sooner but she was trying to prove to Shinji that she was not a reckless driver.

 _'Something he (falsely) believes me to be after our first meeting even though the reason I was driving so crazy was that there was a frigging angel trying to kill us. He'd rather walk than get into a car when I'm the one driving.'_ She thought with a frown.

Ordering a table, she sat down and waited for her friend. While she waited, Misato wondered what exactly she was going to say to Ritsuko when the other woman got there, since she hadn't much experience in this sort of thing.

 _'The best that I can tell her is to break things off now before things get worse. If he isn't willing to move on from someone who's long dead than he's not worth the effort.'_

It was now 10:00 and Misato was starting to get worried. Twenty minutes had passed and Ritsuko still had not arrived which was unlike her as Ritsuko usually showed up anywhere early rather than be late, but then again it was unlike her to call her for help with personal problems while being completely wasted.

"Either Rits is screwing with me or suffering from a massive hangover." Misato frowned "Probably the latter, Rits was never one to hold her liquor." She snorted and then chuckled.

As Misato was about to get up and leave to check on her friend, a little girl wearing a dress that was **very** out-of-place in Japan (let alone Asia) walked in. The waiter just about spilled scalding coffee as he refilled a woman's mug, a prim girl who wouldn't have noticed anyway while adjusting her thin-wired glasses, just in case she was seeing things. Other patrons, in an effort to be more polite, tried to go back to their meals or start half-hearted small talk with their companion's, eyes drawn back again and again to the girl and her frilly fiery-red dress.

Misato, also shocked by the strange scene, felt her brow dip and blinked, like one did when catching the sun in their eyes, at the rigid quality of the fabric, which moved as though someone had taken a steam iron to it one too many times or baked it in the oven.

"Huh," "I haven't seen that type of dress in a long time... not since Asuka wore something similar when she was a child, the kid must be European... and a tourist since she's wearing something so... over the top in a place like japan."

To Misato's surprise the girl began to walk up to her table and sat in the seat she had reserved for her friend.

"Ah, you came early Miss Katsuragi. To tell the truth, I was half-expecting you to be ten or twenty minutes late. I guess you decided not to drink that much beer so you can meet Miss Akagi on time, am I right?" She smiled.

"I'm sorry, kid, but that seat is taken for a friend of mine but I'm guessing you know where she is?"

The girl smiled. "She's at Nerv right now, so she won't be joining us, I'm afraid. Besides, she has no clue you're even here right now."

"What? That impossible, she told me to come here. I know my own best friend's voice, it was her."

The girl shrugged and then she pulled out a small black device that looked similar to a two way handheld radio from the pocket of her dress. The child flipped a switch on it, put the device close to her mouth and from it said—

"Hey, Misato, what're you doing?"

Misato was shocked. In an instant the girl sounded like a 30-year-old adult with no trouble at all and with the voice of a woman who she (presumably) never met before.

 _'Oh crap, this brat's working for someone, there's no way a child could get their hands on tech this advance without someone pulling her strings.'_

"Sorry about the fib, but I wanted to meet you in a place where we can have a somewhat private chat."

"You mean you wanted to meet in a place where there are plenty of witnesses to make sure I don't try anything."

"Well..." she shrugged.

"I don't know what you heard about me, but I don't hurt kids."

"Well, I know you don't. Or, at least, not the same way other people think of hurt."

"And just what do you mean by that?"

The girl simply smiled at her.

 _'There's something off about this child and yet something familiar about her too…No matter_ _I have to do something to gain control the situation. I know! I'll confront her over who she may be working for_ , _that should catch her off.'_

"So I'm guessing that the United States or maybe the JDF sent you. To think that they would stoop so low as to use a child for their dirty work."

However, instead of being caught off guard, the girl just laughed at that. "Sorry, I'm not working with anyone. I'm here on my own and I just want to talk to you about something **bad** that's going to happen."

 _'Not working with anyone... I doubt that's true but she doesn't appear to give off any signs that she's lying and the fact she lost her smile when she said that. Then again she could be_ _ **very**_ _well-trained and what could be so bad, the Angels or something else? Whatever this threat I need to know if it's true.'_

"Ok then, fine. Tell me what's the big danger."

"Third Impact, everyone, for most part, at the end of the year is going to die."

"…"

The smile returns to the kid's face. "Huh, you're taking this better than I thought you would."

 _'What, third impact? How does she know about it? That's one of the biggest secrets on the planet. Who is this girl…? Calm down, Misato, you need to find a way to get some clear answers out her. I'd rather not involve the commander; knowing him he'll just order Section 2 to cart her off to some undisclosed location where they will use whatever means to get answers from her._

 _'Hmm, I got it.'_

"Ok, that's it." Misato pretended to look frustrated. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to an insane lying child who thinks that the world is coming to an end.

" **Hey**." The girl put on a pouty face. "I am not insane or worse a liar."

"Oh? What about the phone call you made pretending to be Ritsuko and saying that she was having an affair?"

"That was a fib to get you to come. It's different from a lie and everything I said on the phone about Miss Akagi was true. She really is sleeping with someone who treats her like that."

"Oh, really? Who's she sleeping with then?"

"Gendo Ikari."

"…"

"Ahahahahahahahahahaha RITS and the Commander hahahahahahahah, you're screwing with me, right?"

To Misato's surprise the girl wasn't laughing, in fact, her face was completely serious.

"Listen, there's no way Rits would be doing that with Gendo, I know her she would do better."

The girl sighed. "Looks like you don't know your 'best' friend as much as you thought."

The girl got up from the chair and came right up next to Misato.

"I can prove it to you. Confront her about it."

"Ha, even if it was true and I ask her about it, Rits would simply deny it."

"I guarantee you if you say this to her you'll know it's true because her reaction won't be pretty once she hears this." She smiled.

The girl then proceeds to use her finger to beckon Misato to come closer.

 _'Huh, she must want to say something to me she doesn't want the other customers to hear. Fine I'll play along but she better not try anything.'_

Misato then allows the girl to whisper something in her ear. "Tell her that Gendo can't******"

"You want me to tell her that?" Misato yelled.

"Trust me, as soon as you tell her, you'll see I'm right from the reaction she will give."

"There's no way in hell that I'm going to tell Ritsuko that! It's sick because it would mean that the commander has been-"

"They aren't, and it isn't true what you're thinking about your boss and **her.** " "And of course you will ask her. You can't resist knowing if it's true or not."

"Enough of this, tell me what you know about Third Impact **NOW**!"

She sighed again. "I see you're not yet ready for this. I'm leaving and-oh, I'll scream saying you're trying to kidnap me if you try to stop me." That statement caused Misato to be both stunned and angry. The girl started to walk away but stopped at the entrance and faced her. "Don't worry, though, we'll talk again when Sahaquiel comes, has one eye and kind of wears orange, by then you should take me more seriously." And with that, the girl left the café.

Misato then got out of her chair to go after the girl but, as she opened the door, she found that the girl had vanished.

"Where the hell did she go? She couldn't gone far…" just as Misato was about to search for the child, she realized that she was going to be late for work and didn't have the time to search for the kid.

Misato got in her car and proceeded to head straight to Nerv.

 _'I wonder who that kid was. I didn't even get her name. How was she able to call me on my work phone, knows about Third Impact, claims that everyone (mostly) will be dead by the end of the year, and most unbelievably, accuse my best friend who I know for years is sleeping with Gendo Ikari! A man who does not even give a crap about his own son.'_

"There's no way in hell that's true. I'll talk to Rits and get this cleared right up."

It took some time searching, but Misato was finally able to find Ritsuko after getting slightly lost, she was still getting used to finding her way around Nerv.

Ritsuko was doing a routine check on the Magi to see if the systems were compromised during the black-out.

 _'So far nothing yet.'_

She then noticed Misato walking up to her.

"Hey Rits, can you come here I want to talk to you for a second."

 _Hmm, I wonder what Misato wants, probably for me not to talk about what happened with her and Kaji in the elevator with the other employees, though I doubt they did anything.'_

After finding an empty room for them to talk, Misato decided to be blunt and come right out with it.

"Tell me Rits… are you **fucking** Gendo Ikari?"

Ritsuko's eyes went wide and her skin slightly pale upon hearing that.

 _'No Rits, don't let this be true,_ _ **please!'**_

Ritsuko mind began to race. _'What! How does she_ _ **know**_ _? We were so careful. Wait, she's asking me if am I having sex with him… which means she isn't sure that it's true or not. Good, maybe I can convince her that it's a lie or rumor. I need to find out where she heard this.'_

Ritsuko quickly composed herself and then looked Misato straight in the eyes, putting her best poker face, and then erupted with laughter.

"Are you serious Misato? Of course not." Her 'laughter' died down. "Why in the world would **I** be sleeping with that man? I know my love life isn't very exciting, but I still have standards. Where in the world did you hear that rumor? Tell me so I will be able to make sure it won't spread throughout Nerv."

Misato glared at her friend. She knew that Rits would never laugh at something like this, as she would just simply brush it off and not do an obviously fake laugh. Plus she seemed more interested in where she heard it came from than anything else.

"Hmm, I got it from an anonymous phone call." Which was true from a certain point view, Misato thought.

"Do you know who it is?" Ritsuko asked.

"No, don't know who she is."

 _'She'_ Ritsuko thought. _'Could it be_ _ **her**_ _?'_

"Well, what did the mysterious caller say?" Ritsuko asked.

"Just that you two were sleeping together for quite some time and are engaging in some odd sexual activities…"

"She raised an eyebrow. "What kind of activities?"

Misato paused. She knew what she was about to say was crossing a line if it turned out Ritsuko was not sleeping with the commander. _'That little brat was right. I have to know if she is telling the truth.'_

"According to the caller, Gendo has a problem keeping it up as it were."

Ritsuko was trying very hard not to burst out laughing at that. Gendo Ikari was many things, but a man having performance issues was not one of them. _'Oh, Misato I wish I could tell you that it's the complete opposite of that. Hahahaha.'_

"Because he has to sleep with you and to solve that problem he has you put on a schoolgirl uniform, wear a blue wig, and you have to let him call you Rei when you fuck."

In a flash, Ritsuko had grabbed Misato by the collar, giving her a look a pure unadulterated rage —something she never saw in her old friend.

"Who the hell told that filthy **lie**?!, I would never make myself look like that pale-faced emotionless freak, I'd rather die. Tell me Misato— it was her, wasn't it? That bitch is just jealous that he's mine and that she means nothing to him."

Then Ritsuko got a good look at Misato's face— and all the color drained from hers. The other woman glared at her. Thanks to her little outburst, she knew Misato would never believe her now, Reluctantly, Ritsuko let go.

 _'Oh Rits… so it's true'_

Ritsuko Akagi then preceded to turn her eyes sideways unable to look her friend in the face, out of shame.

"Rits..."

"No, I don't want to talk about this."

"Rits don't do this, don't tune me out. We have gone through too much together for something like this to drive us apart, I know you must be feeling very…alone if you're going to him for solace and I wish you had gone to me instead, I would have actually help you, not take advantage of you."

Ritsuko faced Misato, she was shocked when she heard that statement.

"But Rits, please I am asking you, leave Gendo, before this all ends in tears."

Akagi frowned at that.

 _'No… I won't do that Misato, you don't understand, because he's truly…'_

"I said I don't want to talk about this!" Ritsuko said. "Misato, for your own good, just drop it."

"...Then you leave me no choice, because if you won't talk to me, I guess I won't be able to keep the so-called rumor from spreading throughout Nerv."

Ritsuko shrugged.

"Go ahead, but you may just find yourself out of a job for spreading lies."

" **Lies**?" the other woman replied. "Bullshit, you know those aren't—"

"Misato, you and I both know that whoever told you about… that didn't give you any prove— so all you really be doing would be absolutely nothing but put your job at risk. The Commander would have no time for silly little 'rumors' that would distract him from his job.

Ristuko smirked.

 _'… There's no getting through to her, she's serious about being with him.'_

"Fine I won't say anything... even though I tried to help you." Misato said, turning to walk out. Stopping at the door momentarily, she turned to Ritsuko. "Rits… even though I know you're in bad place right now but and don't want to talk, but if you do, you know where I'll be. "

"Yeah, sure whatever."

With that, Misato Katsuragi left the room.

And there, alone in the room, Ritsuko had just one thought and it was one thing, and one thing only.

 _'Who told her about_ _ **us**_ _? Who is_ _ **she**_ _? I have to find out.'_

The drive home had been longer than usual.

For Misato to say that the rest of the day had been **long** was an understatement— since she'd just learned that her former best friend was in a loveless relationship... and who probably thought that Rei is her rival for Gendo… given by the 'little' outburst she had.

 _'That kid was right. Ritsuko must be very unhappy and alone, if she's willing to throw away our friendship for something that's obviously doomed to fail.'_

"Dammit! She yelled. "How wasn't I able to see it?! I was her best friend for God sakes!"

Arriving at her Apartment, Misato was greeted not by Shinji or even Asuka but a very angry-looking Pen-Pen, tapping his foot.

"What's wrong now?" Misato sighed, exhausted.

Just then, Shinji poked out from the entrance to the kitchen, clad in an apron.

"Hey Misat-" Shinji cut off. Just looking at his guardian was enough to tell him that something was bothering her.

"… Are you okay? You seem upset. Did something happen at Nerv?" The boy asked.

"No, just some... personal crap with Ritsuko. I'll be fine." She gave a weak smile, and looked down at the glaring Pen-Pen. "Say, Shinji? Do you know why Pen-Pen's upset with me?"

"Well..." The boy then pointed towards the empty bowls— where food and water should have been.

 _Misato_ blinked, awkwardly realizing what it was _. 'Oh. That must have been the other thing I forgot about this morning.'_

"...Sorry?"

Thankfully, the bird accepted her apology.

"It's okay, Misato," the boy explained. "I should have remembered to check to see if he had food and water before I left, so I'm making it up to him by cooking up something just for him. And it was that which brought something else to Misato's mind."

"Hey Shinji, where's Asuka? I expected her to be out here, demanding you make something special just for her as well or something."

"...Oh," Shinji said, frowning. "She went straight to her room, said she had a lot of homework to do."

"Kanji?"

"Yeah, she's having trouble with it."

"Oh boy. She's going to be in there all night, isn't she?"

"I... think so?"

The aforementioned girl's bedroom door slid open audibly, the redhead fixing both of them with a death glare.

"I can hear you both you know just fine from here you know," Asuka said, before the door slowly slid shut once more.

That sent a chill down Shinji's spine, while Misato just smirked cheerfully.

 _'Heh I'm starting to feel better already. These two, there's something about them that brightens my life.'_

Then Misato's stomach growled, the woman catching a whiff of the delicious smell coming from the kitchen.

"Hey Shinji, you mind making something extra for me?"

"Me too!" Asuka yelled from her room.

"...Sure, I don't mind."

After dinner everyone retired to their rooms— except Asuka, who'd already brought her meal back to her room.

After getting undressed, getting into bed and drinking a case of beer, Misato pondered about the day's events— about the strange red-headed girl who knew that Gendo and Ritsuko were a 'thing', knew that Second Impact was caused by an angel and not a meteor, and claimed that by the end of the year everyone (mostly) would be dead from the Third Impact. It sounded unbelievable.

 _'But she knew about Gendo and Ritsuko... so if there's any chance she could be right about that, I have to know— and find a way to stop it.'_

But according to her, the next time they would talk again is when someone name 'Sahaquiel'— who supposedly had one eye and wore orange- came around.

 _'That's a weird name to give to someone... and orange as well? His parents must have been hippies or something like that.'_ She took a swig of beer.

Misato then yawned, as her last dregs finally gave out.

 _'I better check... on Rei tomorrow. Make sure nothing is going on with her and Gendo...'_

And with than Misato Katsuragi drifted off to sleep, not knowing how much her life would change.


	2. Chapter 2

The Next Morning

As the sun began to shine on the never ending summer of Japan, and while most people in Tokyo-3 were still in their beds, Misato Katsuragi was already up, dressed, and ready to get some answers from someone who could, she hoped, make sense of the… revelations she learned yesterday about Rits and Gendo Ikari.

 _'Ugh, just thinking about it make my stomach turn, Rei I hope you're not caught up in this… mess and it's just simply Rits being delusional thinking that you're a possible rival for… Gendo!'_ Misato shudders.

Misato thought that if it were true, she could hopefully put a stop to it… quietly. Because as much as she didn't like it, Gendo Ikari was necessary for Nerv's survival.

He had been able to rally everyone to work together during the blackout against the 9th Angel while she herself was… unavailable at the time. And while she had no proof, she was sure that he had something to do with the Jet Alone incident as it was a threat to Nerv.

 _'Until the Angels are defeated,'_ _she thought to herself. 'Gendo Ikari stays right where he is. After that well… it depends on Rei tells me.'_

Just as Misato was about to leave her apartment, an embarrassing realization came to her.

"Oh crap! I don't know where Rei lives."

Of course, she could've called Nerv HQ and asked for Rei's address, but Misato knew that it might sound odd to Nerv High Command since she had never asked that question before, and naturally, she did not want to tip off the Commander that she knew some of his secrets. She had the unpleasant feeling that revealing as much would result in her taking a 'permanent "vacation".

After all, Gendo Ikari was indispensable… she was not.

Fortunately, after a moment of pondering, the answer came to her. _'Oh yeah, Shinji been there before, I can ask him where she lives.'_

Walking to Shinji's door, Misato decided to let herself in rather than knock on the door and risk waking up Asuka about something that had nothing to do with sync tests or an Angel attack… and on a Saturday no less.

There on the floor was Shinji, in a state of half-dress sleeping on his mat. But to Misato surprise, he wasn't sleeping very peacefully from his fretful tossing and turning. He appeared to be sweating heavily and he was frantically mumbling, "Make the pain stop, Angels, Father… Mother!"

 _'He's having a nightmare,'_ Misato thought. Placing a firm, but gentle hand on his shoulder, she softly called out, "Shinji, wake up!"

Shinji jump up in surprise, his eyes wide open and he was panting heavily.

"Misato? Where are you?"

"It's okay Shinji, I'm right here."

As his eyes grew more accustomed to the darkness of the room, he was able to make out her shape standing over him.

"Oh... um… I-I'm sorry. I...didn't wake you did I?

"No, it's fine. Are you okay?"

"Uh, y-yeah," Shinji replied, looking away, "I-I'm fine."

"Well...okay, if you're sure..."

Misato knew he was lying, but elected not to press any further at that moment, instead asking the question she had come to ask in the first place.

"… Right, Shinji I need a favor from you, if you don't mind?"

"Oh okay, what is it Misato?"

"Can you tell me what Rei's address is? I have something private I need to speak to her about."

"Oh sure," Shinji replied, sitting up, "I can give you her address."

Climbing out of bed, he grabbed a piece of paper and pen and wrote down Rei's address for Misato.

"Here you go Misato." Shinji said, handing the paper to her.

"Shinji, you're not curious about what I have to say to Rei?"

"No. If you want to talk to Rei about something that's only between the two of you, I won't ask."

 _'He really is a sweet kid. If this was Asuka I was asking, she would be demanding what exactly it is I want to talk to Rei about, probably giving me the excuse that it's her right as an Eva pilot to know.'_

"Thank you hun, I'll see you later, ok?"

"Okay. Oh…and umm… Misato? Be careful when you get there. The neighborhood where Rei lives isn't very... safe."

"What do you mean by that Shinji?"

"You'll see what I mean when you get there."

"...Ok?" Misato gave a puzzled look when she heard that statement. "So are you going back to bed?"

"No, I'm awake now and I might as well make some breakfast. You want some?"

"Nah, I really have to go see Rei. I'll just grab a granola bar from the kitchen.

And, turning to leave, she called over her shoulder, "later Shinji."

As Misato was about to leave his room, Shinji spoke up once more. "And Misato, one more thing. Don't forget to feed Pen-Pen this time. He's still a bit sore about you forgetting to feed him yesterday."

"Ugh, I won't." Misato said in an annoyed voice.

And with that little reminder Shinji gave her, Misato headed to the kitchen where a smarter than average penguin was waiting by his food bowl.

"Here you go Pen-Pen." Misato said as she was putting food and water into his bowl.

The bird raised an eyebrow at her as he really didn't trust what was really food bowl.

"I swear the food is safe." Misato said as her I visible twitch. "It's from a can, I didn't put anything on it."

The bird was still... skeptical despite Misato's reassurances.

"Fine then, but don't blame me if you have an empty stomach tonight."

Misato grabbed a granola bar from the cabinet and then left her apartment and headed to her car while Pen-Pen was still staring at his food, still trying to decide if it was safe enough to eat.

As Misato got into her car and drove to the address Shinji gave her, but something that he said still bugged her.

 _'Isn't safe? That doesn't make any sense. Rei is an Eva Pilot. She should be living in a place that would make people think that assassinating the emperor himself would be far easier than trying to target a pilot. I really hope that Shinji is just exaggerating.'_

 **"** **WHAT THE FUCK?!"**

If someone other than Shinji had given the address to her, Misato would have thought she was being screwed with.

"God, now I know what Shinji meant by 'be careful'. This neighborhood is a slum! Why the hell is Rei living **HERE**?!" Misato snarled, barely able to contain her anger.

As Misato got out of her car and began to walk to Rei's apartment she spotted an orange car with a middle-age man at the wheel driving slowing behind her, obviously trying to get her attention.

 _'Huh? An orange car? Could it be Sahaqiel I wonder?'_

Misato then walked up to the car. As she was armed, and also a crack shot, she wasn't overly worried as she called out, "Hey you want something from me?"

"Um... Yes?" He chuckled nervously.

"What?"

"... A date"

"A date?" Misato repeated, confused.

"You know... a date? Is this your first time doing something like this?"

'First time?' It then dawn on Misato what exactly what this man really wanted from her.

Misato then pulled back her jacket, showing the man her gun holster.

"Still want to go on a date with me?" Misato said as she gave the man a murderous glare.

"Um... maybe? You have that milf look going for you so I can ignore the gun."

When the man said the word milf, Misato began to reach for her gun; at which the man finally took the hint and then sped off as fast as he could.

"That's it! Rei I don't know why you're living here, but it ends **TODAY!** "

Rei Ayanami did not dream. She not have dreams of the past… she did not of have dreams of the future… she did not have dreams of Zack Snyder killing Superman by shoving a green sharpie into his eye… and last night had been no different from any of those that had preceded it.

Her schedule for the morning was fairly simple. First wakes up, take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and either leave on NERV or school business...or stays inside all day. But since it was a weekend and she hadn't gotten any calls to come to Nerv today, she'd decided to stay inside all day today.

But before she can get started on the languid of her routine, there's a knock on her door.

 _'Odd? I was not expecting visitors today, could it be Ikari, I wonder?'_

Rei checked through the peephole of her door to see who it was, and to her mildly surprise it was not Ikari or even Section Two agents but the Operations Director, Captain Katsuragi.

'This must be something important if she had to come here in person.' Rei thought to herself as she opened the door.

"Captain Katsuragi, is there a problem? Does Nerv have need of me today?"

"…"

"Rei," Misato said in a low voice.

"Yes Captain?"

"Are… you are alone right?"

Rei seemed puzzled by that question as why would she be alone? "Yes I am alone."

"You mind if I come inside for a moment?"

Rei blinked, looking a little nonplussed. "I do not mind."

"Thank you," Misato replied, taking a step forward...before pausing. "And Rei?"

"Yes Captain?"

"Do you mind getting dressed please?"

Rei's eyes flitted downward. In the privacy of her apartment, being nude had never seemed abnormal to her. Though she had begun to realize after Ikari's impromptu visit several months prior, that others found it strange or offensive. The reactions the Section Two agents frequently had when they came to call, suddenly began to make more sense. "Very well I shall."

When Misato entered Rei's apartment, she was horrified by what she saw.

 _'And I thought my place was bad before Shinji came into my life. If I didn't know any better I would have thought Rei was a squatter and not an Eva Pilot.'_

When Misato looked through Rei place two things became clear.

First, that Rei was telling the truth when she said she was alone. It was clear that the girl lived here alone, despite the apartment's dangerous location.

Secondly... her place was a fucking pigsty! A hellhole of squalor! Everything had dust and grime on it. From the floors, walls, and ceiling to the appliances and furniture.

Scattered across the floor were several large boxes, empty pill bottles, scraps of paper, and several articles of clothing.

In one of the boxes, the one next to the tiny refrigerator, Misato saw...

 _'…Is that a box of dried bloody banda- wait are those the same bandages Rei got when Unit-00 when berserk? That was months ago… and they're still here?! Oh God, Rei is a hoarder!'_

When she turned to face Rei, Misato saw that she was already finished getting dressed.

"Rei," she began "Why did you answer the door naked? I would have waited for you to get dressed you know?"

"This is the first time you have come in person to my place of residence Captain Katsuragi. I assumed your business with me was too important to be kept waiting."

"Rei," I sigh, "The reason why I decided to come see you is because I have some questions for you."

"I see," Rei replied. "What do you wish to ask of me?"

"… Rei, these are question are of a… personal nature and you may feel uncomfortable with some of them. So even though I would like for you to answer all of them, if you really don't want to, you don't have to."

"I understand."

 _'I need to sit down for this.'_ Misato thought.

So, while motioning Rei to sit down on the bed, Misato preceded to sit in the folding chair next to the bed.

Once they were both settled, Misato opened her mouth and began to question the First Child.

"Rei… does The Commander Ikari have 'feelings' for you?"

Misato saw Rei's eyes went widen slightly when she heard that.

"Feelings? I do not understand. What kind of feelings? Commander Ikari cares for me, yes."

"Uh, that's um...not exactly what I meant." Misato shifted uncomfortably, rubbing her hand on the back of her neck.

 _'This is going to be even more awkward than I thought.'_

""Well, um...what I meant was... Like has he ever looked at you in a certain way? Maybe spoken to you in a way that made you uncomfortable? Or, um… touched you in a place he's not supposed to?"

" **NO!** "

Rei, to Misato's surprise, gave her a **very** angry glare.

 _'I don't think I ever seen Rei mad like this at all before.'_

"Commander Ikari has **never** molested me, if that is what you are suggesting Captain Katsuragi."

Although Rei's never raised her voice, it was clear she was very hurt by the accusation that the Commander was doing **THAT** to her.

 _'I think Rei is telling the truth. At least... I don't get the feeling that she's lying to me. But still, they must have some kind of relationship for her to get angry at all.'_

"Ok, I believe you Rei. I'm sorry for suggesting that."

To Misato's surprise, Rei did not seem satisfied with the apology; her surprisingly fierce glare did not soften.

"May I ask as to why you accused Commander Ikari of molesting me?"

 _'… I'm not going to like this part, I'm really not',_ Misato thought with a frown.

"Yesterday, I received a phone call from a stranger who had claimed the Commander was sleeping with someone who works at NERV."

After a moment of tense silence, Rei replied, "I see. And the anonymous caller is claiming that I am the one who is sleeping with the Commander?"

Suppressing a slight shiver at the calm fury evident in Rei's voice, Misato quickly answered, "No, but your name did come up in the conversation, the caller wasn't accusing you. It was a coworker that I know whose name I don't feel I should _—_ "

Rei's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Ritsuko Akagi."

"You Knew?"

"I have had… strong suspicions about the interactions between the two for quite some time now. Rei turned away, her hands visibly tightening in her lap. After a brief pause, she continued, "It's not very surprising to me as Doctor Akagi is very much like her mother."

 _'Wait, what? What does Ritsuko mom have to do with this?'_

"What do you mean by that Rei?"

Rei pondered a bit, wondering whether or not she should answer that, before deciding that Naoko's past with Gendo was no longer relevant to Nerv.

"Naoko Akagi, like her daughter was also sleeping with the Commander", Rei replied matter of factly.

In the wake of this revelation, there was another tense pause as Misato tried to process what she'd just heard.

 _'Wait…_ _ **WHAT**_ _?'_

Misato was completely shocked when she heard that.

 _'Rits… Rits mother was also… I-I don't understand?'_

Eyes wide with shock, Misato turned to face the blue-haired girl again. "Rei… are you sure about that?"

The answer was quick and curt. "Yes."

"How do you know for certain?"

Rei's back hunched slightly, her lips parting slightly in a tiny snarl, as if remembering something awful once more. "She loved him."

Misato blinked. She... found it hard to imagine... ANYONE finding Gendo Ikari appealing. But of course, there's no accounting for taste... and now that she thought about it, perhaps his unflappable demeanor, the power that his mere presence in a room could inspire, and the fact that he was such a powerful man to the point that he could be counted amongst it's unofficial rulers was a bit of a draw.

But, the even bigger question here was...

"D-Did he loved her?"

" **No** ," Rei said without hesitation. "The Commander said that Naoko was an old hag that he didn't like and that he found her annoying."

Misato balled up her fists when she heard that.

 _'He said that, about Rits mother?! In earshot of a little girl?! Oh it is official Gendo Ikari, You are now on my shit list for life.'_

She had always known that Gendo Ikari was an unpleasant, heartless bastard... his treatment of his own son was indicative of that. But his cruel words about Naoko Akagi seemed almost... petty. For him to be so callously dismissive of someone whose devotion to him was probably absolute, was utterly disheartening and infuriating.

'And now Ritsuko is headed down that same path...'

"Did Ritsuko know Gendo was… seeing her mother?"

"Yes. Doctor Akagi was aware that her mother was sleeping with Commander Ikari."

 _'Ritsuko… you knew that bastard was sleeping with your mother. And what's worse, he clearly thought of her as nothing more than a fart in in the breeze. And then when she died you_ _ **still**_ _decided to get into a relationship with him. Oh Rits, Gendo doesn't love you anymore than he did your mother. I wish you could see that.'_

With deep sigh, Misato continued, "After the caller had told me that Ritsuko was sleeping with the Commander. I… didn't believe it. I thought I knew more about my friend than some stranger did."

"You were incorrect." Rei replied.

Misato gave a weak smile when she heard that. "Yes… yes I was." she agreed with another sigh, before continuing, "The caller told me that there was a way to prove what the stranger was saying was true."

Rei tilted her head slightly. "And what was that Captain Katsuragi?"

"The person told me to confront Ritsuko about it."

"That would not have worked. Doctor Akagi would not admit to such a thing."

"And normally you would be right with that assumption Rei," Misato replied. "When I confronted her about it, Ritsuko denied everything."

"Then how did you-"

"This is where your name come up," Misato cut across. _'Oh boy',_ she thought to herself. _'Now things get even screwier.'_ "The caller told me that if Ritsuko denied it," Misato continued, "I should tell her a lie of something that involves the Commander and you. They specifically said that if I told her that, Ritsuko's would give a reaction would prove that she was lying and was in fact sleeping with him."

"What was the lie?" Rei asked, sounding unusually curious.

"…That in order for the Commander to find Ritsuko attractive enough to sleep with, he has to have her wear a schoolgirl uniform exactly like the one **you're** wearing, have her put one a blue wig, and she has to let him call her Rei."

Rei's response was silence, an expression that...could have been blank, but somehow wasn't. Misato chose to interpret it as disgust.

"Yeah," Misato went on, rubbing the back of her neck, Ritsuko didn't take that very well. She immediately lost her temper and assumed you were the mysterious caller. She thought that it was you who made up the lie out of jealousy."

"She believes that I have amorous feelings for the Commander?" Rei said with a bit of shocked with her voice.

"I'm afraid so." Misato said feeling disappointed with her friend.

Rei herself wasn't sure how to feel about all of this. On one hand, it finally made sense as to her why Doctor Akagi hated her. At first she thought it was because of what happened to Nakao all those years ago. But the revelation that her ire was the result of jealousy over the attentions of Commander Ikari made more sense to Rei.

In the time that she had known Naoko Akagi, it had become abundantly clear to Rei that the senior Akagi's relationship with her daughter was strained. They were generally cordial... but their relationship had little warmth; it was as if they were colleagues rather than parent and child. While the younger Akagi had displayed some sadness at her mother's death, it did not seem proportionate to the dislike she held for her.

So at the very least, she now understood why Ritsuko Akagi detested her...

But, on the other hand, it made Rei feel very uncomfortable that someone... anyone could think she and the Commander were fornicating, or indeed that either of them had any such inclinations towards one another.

 _'The Commander cares about me, yes. But… certainly not in that way.'_

"So you see Rei," said Misato, cutting across Rei's reverie, "Now you know why I had to come down here today. I wanted to make sure that nothing inappropriate was going on between you and the Commander. And even though the caller told me it was a lie, I still wanted to check and see for myself that it was."

Rei seemed surprised by that. Other than the Commander and his son, no one else had ever shown much concern for her.

"Thank you." Rei replied with a faint smile.

Small though her smile was, it thoroughly warmed Misato's heart to see it.

 _'Wow… she's actually smiling, I think this is the first time I've seen her do so.'_

"Okay Rei," she went on, deciding to press forward with the matters at hand, "Now that this… misunderstanding has been cleared up, there is something else I need to ask you about; something I just found out today."

"Yes, Captain?"

"Why the hell are you living like this?" Misato cried, gesturing emphatically at their dismal surroundings.

Rei blinked, and tilted her head curiously. "I do not understand? Are my living accommodations inadequate?"

"Rei," Misato said with a twitch in her eye. "There's trash all over your apartment, the building looks like it's going to collapse any minute now, and there are perverts on the street who would definitely try to take advantage of a young girl living alone like yourself. So yes, your living quarters are inadequate."

The blue-haired girl frowned slightly. "I see."

"And also, just who the hell decided that this place is where you should be living?"

"Ritsuko Akagi." Rei replied bluntly.

Misato put her hand to her face in her hands and rubbed at her eyes in weary frustration.

 _'Oh Rits… just as I was starting to have some sympathy for you again.'_

Trying to ignore the painful realization that she clearly did not know her friend as well as she thought, Misato pressed on, "Rei what was the reason that Ritsuko gave you that this place would be a 'great' place for you to live?"

"I do not know, I never asked."

"Rei you never question why you had live in this dump?" Misato replied with an incredulous frown.

"It was an order and I am a soldier," Rei responded flatly. "Soldiers are supposed to follow any orders they are given, are they not?"

Misato felt she couldn't swallow when she heard that, because what Rei had just said was the cold hard truth. Rei, Shinji, and Asuka weren't just children… they were soldiers fighting in a war.

They were still going to school and all of that, yes… but it was, for the most part, an illusion to prevent them from fully realizing that unpleasant reality, so that wouldn't crack under the pressure. But it was clear that Rei wasn't buying that little deception, and probably hadn't from the beginning. She knew full well what was being asked of her.

 _It's disheartening to know how aware this teenage girl is of her status as a child soldier', Misato thought despondently, 'But...what can I do? We need her...we need them all. NERV, humanity, any hope we have of surviving...it's all on them, whether any of us like it or not.'_

Knowing that this was something she could not change...at least, not right now, Misato elected to return to the original issue they had been discussing.

"Rei do you wish to move from here?"

"I do not, Rei replied with surprising conviction, "I have no problem with my living arrangements."

Misato frowned at that. "Ok then Rei if you want to continue living here I won't stop you. But at least let me get some contractors to fix up your place and have some Section 2 guards to check up one you to make sure you are safe."

Rei pondered for a moment. "Hmm, those terms are acceptable, I agree to them."

"Good," Misato said with a smile on her face. "Well then, I think we're done here. But before I go I want to give you something."

Misato produced a piece of paper and pen from her purse and after writing down on it, handed it to Rei.

"A phone number?" Rei said curiously.

"Yes it's my personal number. If you're in any trouble I want you to call to call me."

Once more, Rei nodded her compliance. "I will do so, Captain."

"Okay then," Misato said as she turned and made her way to the door. "I will see you later, Ok Rei."

And with that Misato Katsuragi left Rei's apartment.

In the silence brought forth by Misato's departure, Rei began to think...

 _'Someone else cares about me.'_ Rei said still staring at the number the captain gave her.

Meanwhile as Misato stepped out of the building and heads to her car she has only one thing one her mind.

 _'I need a fucking drink… where is the nearest bar?'_


End file.
